I feel grateful for so much in my life. Jon is an amazing, supportive husband. Laurel is one of the sweetest, funniest, and most thoughtful kids on the planet. Violet is adorable, sleeps through the night, and gobbles up all of the food I lovingly puree for her. I have a roof over my head and many pairs of shoes in my closet. I have lots of family and friends in close proximity. I'm growing leaps and bounds professionally and being compensated for it. I ate homemade banana chocolate chunk bread for breakfast this morning. However, despite all of these gifts, sometimes I get overwhelmed and emotional. This has been one of those weeks...I've been feeling raw around the edges. I probably should have called my therapist. It's difficult for me to explain it all here...there are some things I just can't disclose yet, plus the problems seem so very first world. But they are real to me nonetheless. Suffice to say, as someone who pours pretty much all I've got into my relationships and whatever I'm doing personally and professionally, it's hard to feel as if I'm not doing enough. Or being talked/thought poorly of. Or about to make a decision that will put someone else in a bind.
So even though I'm feeling guilty in some ways about leaving, this is the perfect time to head to Camp Mighty. I need this escape and time for reflection. I haven't traveled on my own since January (to Alt Summit). I haven't been away from sweet Vivy for more than 12 hours since she was born. I'm most nervous about how all of the logistics and emotions are going to play out regarding Violet, but I'm taking care of the things I can control (e.g., an extensive Violet run of show document, a freezer loaded with breastmilk and pureed food nuggets) and having faith in the universe and the people in my life to take care of the rest.
California clearly is a magical place for me. I hope this trip helps me come out of my fog.
This photo of Palm Springs is courtesy of TripAdvisor