Explore 2019 #233: The past

I am definitely a creature of habit. I like being the first one up. I drink a big glass of water with a splash of coconut water, followed by my one coffee of the day. I putter around and try to do some damage control in the kitchen (it's basically always me vs. piles of clean and dirty dishes). And then I check my calendar and to-do list for the day and visualize the trajectory of how to get everything done. This is typically how things operate up until around 6:30am, when the rest of the house starts stirring.

I think it's also worth mentioning deviation from routine on this particular morning where I'm processing and trying to understand a lot about how my trauma-ridden past impacts my present day behavior...and also trying, for self-preservation's sake, to call up some moments where I have felt like a really good parent and human being. Carving out one-on-one trips with each of my kids this summer, which included a visit to the beautiful San Jose rose garden, is a really big one for me. And probably the most productive thing I have done -- and will do -- all day is e-mail my therapist, which I did at 7:30am. Time to roll up my sleeves and do some work. I'm grateful for therapists.