Acceptance Instead Of Anger

Anyone want to talk about anger? I have thoughts.

I have struggled with emotions for a long time. Until recently I only had two strong feeling switches: shut down (I have been called cold hearted) or angry (or aggravated, anger's first cousin). This stemmed from a childhood during which I was angry and terrified by anger...which led me to tamp down my emotions to avoid attention (and anger's potential wrath) and become an emotional robot. I'm still working on naming emotions. I have a children's "How Are You Feeling Today?" emotion chart in my office.

I have been thinking a lot about anger this week. In my last post I wrote about how the body is the ultimate barometer. And as I have been thinking about how to prioritize physical healing, I had a realization.

BACKSTORY: I have been struggling with shoulder pain for so long that I can't remember not struggling with it. Maybe it's been two years? Since the pain tends towards moderate and I can do some things (like play tennis, oddly) pain-free, I haven't gone to PT. But there are times when the pain is brutal. And times when it is mild and I think it's about to go away. In the face of pain, I have been angry (or aggravated).

REALIZATION: What if we approached suffering with acceptance instead of anger? I don't mean resignation; instead, acceptance as "I see you, shoulder, and clearly you have something to say to me." This is a much more receptive, loving way to talk to my body (vs. "Shoulder, why the fuck are you torturing me?!").

I'm not expecting miracles overnight but I think this perspective shift matters a lot. This week I have been doing the typical things I think are good things to do -- deep breathing, plenty of water, yoga, tune up balls, laughing, even a qigong practice -- but instead of an angry, "This better obliterate this annoying problem" mindset, I have looked at each of these small actions as part of what I am referring to as my "arsenal of acceptance."

I'll keep you posted on how things are going but even just a few days in, I feel calmer and more grounded in general. Thanks for being patient with me, body.

I hope this perspective might help you experiment with a point of struggle. ❤