Kiss My Doctoral Ass

I haven't said anything about the ridiculous patriarchal bullshit that is suggesting that Dr. Jill Biden doesn't deserve her honorific because part of me was like, "This is so bullshit-y and click bait-y, is that the point?" And part of me just wanted to scream because it's so ridiculous. Since the misogynistic norm is to attempt to diminish/erase the accomplishments of women, today I'm going to tell you my academic story. I would love for you to share about one of your baller accomplishments too!

I was a very average high school student who finally found her academic way in college. I completed a double major in music and psychology and graduated magna cum laude + Phi Beta Kappa in 1995 from Wheaton College.

I pursued my M.A. in cognitive psychology P/T while working F/T as a research assistant/lab manager at Brandeis University. I graduated in 1998.

I pursued my Ph.D. in psychology (brain, behavior, + cognitive science track) from Queen's University. I applied for and earned a prestigious NIH predoctoral fellowship to fund my Ph.D. (to my knowledge I was the first student in the department's history to do so). My dissertation was based on four experiments with trained pianists. I found my bound dissertation in my basement; it includes a shitload of statistical analyses, 46 figures, and 160 pages of text. I graduated in 2002.

After my Ph.D. I applied for and earned another highly coveted grant; a postdoctoral fellowship from the NIH to fund a triple appointment postdoc in music and brain neuroscience at MIT, Massachusetts General Hospital, and Harvard Medical School. I studied auditory perception in healthy human participants as well as humans who had undergone temporal lobectomies. I learned how to code experiments at MIT. I was a teaching assistant at Harvard.

I chose to leave academia after my postdoc and have built a successful, six-figure career on the Internet. I earned my honorific just like Dr. Biden and countless others in academia, law, etc., but to you insecure, patriarchal assholes, KISS MY DOCTORAL ASS. You may refer to me as Dr. Koh because I have most definitely earned it.