Stuck AF

Can we talk about being stuck AF? 🥴 I think anyone who appears to be crushing shit also hits walls. That has been me in recent months. Though I'm still producing plenty of creative work, I have, for example. felt paralyzed by what to do with the 80,000 words I wrote in Q1. I have had zero motivation to pitch media articles, despite my love for writing them. I have felt annoyed with traditional ad models on my podcast and have been spinning my wheels thinking about Substack or Patreon (and them feeling major impostor syndrome at the prospect of starting that).

I know things have been a lot. The news is a trash can. There are huge transitions happening in my house. I am dealing with some hard personal shit. Probably not surprisingly I'm not feeling the greatest physically given inflammation issues + feeling sluggish with the extra pandemic weight I'm carrying (note: generally speaking, I don't care about weight gain and don't own a scale but it definitely seems to impact my energy levels).

Today I decided to shake shit up and disrupt an "I can't do that" narrative I have been carrying for years. Many years ago, I used to be someone who said they could never run, did C25K, became a crazy running person who ran a few half marathons, then several years ago running felt TERRIBLE and I said I couldn't do it anymore.

This past week I bought an inexpensive stopwatch and some not inexpensive Brooks shoes (Brooks are my go-to as a person with bunions and these felt great). I decided to see if I could try C25K again, not because I want to run half marathons again but to knock the energy around and remind myself that one of my superpowers is disrupting shit.

I finished the 20 minutes of intervals. It actually felt good. And I was reminded of the good things about running... anchoring around your core, relaxing your shoulders, deep breathing, endorphins.

I don't expect this to be a magic bullet for all the things I am stuck on. I am sure I will continue to spin my wheels on various things. But it is a baby step in energy shift and I'll take today's small victory. And this is a very long winded way of saying, if you are stuck you are not alone. I see you. ❤