Vent Alert: Parenting + Work

VENT ALERT, with the full knowledge that I realize everyone is doing the best they can and there are far more massive, life-threatening issues facing people right now.

But still, I am fucking frustrated about the continued struggle that is being a parent with work commitments. I was thinking last night about the tired term "mom guilt" and how I have never heard anyone utter the term "dad guilt" (which sent me on a patriarchy bender) and also how it is ridiculous to even feel guilty about things when the pieces keep moving around you, despite your best efforts to stay on top of things.

Last month, I needed to plan two work trips this month. I wanted to be especially mindful about the last 10 days of this month, given that I have a graduating senior. I booked a work trip for next week based on the information I had from school and felt very happy that I would be home in time to take photos for Laurel's prom.

Well, this week I learned that there are three events where Laurel will be receiving awards, on each night that I will be in flight to/from or at my work trip. I am not going to cancel the trip for these events AND I am really disappointed that I can't be there. I also learned on Monday that Violet's graduation has been moved AGAIN. (In the past graduation has been in the evening but now it is during the work day.)

I know the end of the school year is routinely a cluster. I know it's an even bigger cluster when you have kids finishing milestone years. I know that big picture, I give my kids enough in life that it is not the end of the world when I can't attend everything. Indeed, my kids have told me not to worry! AND, I would like the targets to stop moving (or unexpectedly appearing) so that I can sink in and be present for all of the big things that are happening.