Sexy, Redefined

This week released its 2008 Sexiest Man Alive feature. I’m both weirdly drawn to the spectacle and find it utterly silly. The Sexiest Hugh Jackman seems a fine choice (big budget movie forthcoming and all…) and I just had a few comments to offer on some of the bridesmaids (all images credited to

Lang Lang: I love that Asians are gettin' all mainstream and making Sexiest Anything lists. When I was in high school I was crestfallen that I never could get traditional parts because of my looks.

Javier Bardem: I know Bardem already jokes about his tragic haircut in No Country for Old Men, but what disturbs me more than his creepy character from that flick is the fact that his haircut bore a disturbing resemblance to my third grade bowl cut. Curse you, bowl cut!

David Beckham: I'm fairly certain Becks has never been runner up for anything. This shall keep him humble.