Back to School 2020 Truths + Recommendations
Seeing pandemic back-to-school photos juxtaposed against memory pop-ups from previous back to school years is really driving home the pain, loss and weirdness of this fall. And I have been troubled by some of what I’m seeing re: TEACHERS + PARENTS.
Why? Because I have been disheartened by the tone I’m seeing from parents (not all parents, but enough of them). I want to walk through some truths, behavioral recommendations + tactical recommendations to try to help parents level set. Let’s start with the truths.
Truths
Nobody wants back-to-school to be like this. NOBODY. Digest that simple truth as a reminder that ultimately parents + teachers are on the same team.
It’s really difficult to communicate respectfully when you’re in an adversarial stance. If you feel like you’re approaching your teacher, school administration, etc., in an adversarial stance, BACK UP. Take a breath. Return when you are calm.
Your anger and frustration about life right now is valid. Our generation (and our kids’ generation) has never experienced such prolonged discomfort and pain. Six months of dealing with our own losses + those of our kids is painful + exhausting.
IMO anger and frustration connects directly to fear and uncertainty. And right now pretty much everything is scary and uncertain. It sucks--as adults who are supposed to have the answers--to have to continually say, “I don’t know” to our kids.
If you’re furious about the current back to school situation + you’re an anti-masker (or own masks but don’t enforce masks + social distancing), YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM. Read the science + get on board with the school project.
If you’re saying things like “teachers aren’t working hard enough if they say they don’t want to go into school” you’re not being your best self. Statements like these are ridiculous and rude.
Teachers are literally the messengers. Don’t shoot them. Decisions about how the mechanics of back-to-school are working are coming from higher up (at multiple levels...more on that later in the thread).
Now, let’s move on to some behavioral recommendations; this is all about how we ultimately show up as community members. Several of these recommendations apply to other ways you show up in the world so go get it.
Behavioral Recommendations
Assume the best in teachers first, just as you would want someone to assume the best in YOU as a parent, employee, family member, human.
Remember that under normal circumstances teachers’ jobs are incredibly demanding. Their jobs are becoming ~20x more complicated as they try to meet individual needs at a distance. SHOW GRACE.
Related to above, think about any singular moment of frustration you had during spring emergency learning and use that as a catalyst for a moment of empathy.
Remember how during the spring, you held up teachers as heroes and shared memes proclaiming that they should be paid a billion dollars + have their student loans forgiven? These are still the same people we’re talking about today.
How you show up shapes how your kids show up. Kids look to their parents for cues. Model the behavior you want them to demonstrate. If you want them to show up for their teachers + get invested in school, YOU need to show up too.
Now, let’s move on to specific tactics. I love tactics. I know this is an overwhelming time and so my goal here is to share really doable ideas.
Tactical Recommendations
Set the tone and start your first communication with your teacher with acknowledgement + support; e.g., “This is such a weird and difficult way to start the school year and it’s not ideal for anyone. We’re here to make the best of a weird year!”
Send your teacher an email and share about your kid; their personality, their interests, their strengths and weaknesses. This is the type of stuff teachers suss out in the classroom and won’t be able to do. h/t Dr. Robyn Silverman for this tip!
Ask your kid(s) if they have ideas for how to connect with their teacher + what they’ll miss most about the regular school year. Kids often have great ideas, and there may be some simple things you can do from their ideas.
If your teacher does something awesome, OMG tell them! They’re going to need all the reassurance they can get...on repeat. They are literally risking their freaking lives (and those of their immediate families if they’re required to go into their school).
If you’re unhappy about something, come with a solution instead of just criticizing. Now more than ever teachers + parents need to form a partnership in order to help kids through this; be a partner and bring your ideas!
Get to know your town/city government structure. Per point above about teachers being the messengers, decision-making is multifaceted. Learn how your reps vote on schools, make your voice heard (and vote out) if reps vote against school support!
VOTE TRUMP OUT on Nov. 3 (and do everything you can to encourage others to do the same). Bottom line, the reason we’re still in this mess at this level is because of the vast failures of Trump’s administration.