When To Speak Up And When To Be Silent

I've been thinking about a mixed message I'm seeing towards white people that I think is contributing to the fear and worry about speaking up. On the one hand, there's "Use your voice! Your silence makes you part of the problem!" On the other hand, there's "Don't talk! Listen!" (or sometimes, "Shut the fuck up already!") . Both messages are accurate, nuanced, and interrelated and this is how I see the distinction. USING YOUR VOICE means owning what's happening right now. It means facing the privilege into which you were born (see yesterday's post about uncomfortable important work). It means standing up for humanity (this is not about politics people, this is about humanity) and making it clear that you believe that what is happening right now is wrong. It means elevating Black voices across all industries; and this does not mean buying someone's product or cheering for someone because their existence and talent makes your life more fun; it's about elevating the tough stuff too.

BEING SILENT + LISTENING means that if you feel even a shred of wanting to justify what's happening (e.g., "Not all white people are like this!" "But I work hard...I'm not privileged!" "I want you to know that I'm a good person") in order to make yourself feel better and make it about you, then yes, indeed, be silent. In these moments, your job is to listen and learn; to be uncomfortable and figure out what you can do the next time (because rest assured there will be many next times) your racist relative makes a comment at a family gathering, or you encounter a teachable moment with your kid, or you find yourself in a micro (or macro) aggressive moment of your own.

SUMMARY: Use your voice to own what's happening. Be silent when you want to make it about you.