Embrace 2020 20/365: my grown babies, right this second
How do you react to pregnancy news? Last night I learned that a friend (around my age) is pregnant and wow, does news like that stir up a lot! I mean, happiness and excitement for her, yes, and also -- I suppose because humans are, by nature, egocentric -- thoughts about how I would feel if I learned I was pregnant. (This is not 100% out of left field because I was a little late on my period this month.)
Because here are some very real, colliding facts: 1️⃣ I was one of those people who actually loved being pregnant. I felt like a total Earth Mother and had the best body image during my pregnancies. 2️⃣ I love the baby phase (and I know not everyone does, which is totally normal.) 3️⃣ I reeeaaaaallllly love sleeping, and my kids were not the kinds of kids who took 3 hour naps or slept through the night immediately so the thought of interrupted sleep is terrifying. 4️⃣ I feel like right now, at 46, everything is finally clicking... I have figured out my inflammation problems and for the first time in a long time my body feels wonderful and healthy. I have a lot of awesome work projects I'm cranking on. Our family system is really delightful (not perfect day in, day out, obviously, but we're in a really solid place). Basically, why rock the boat? 5️⃣ I have always said if I had unlimited resources, I'd have more kids. 6️⃣ I understand that surprises are possible. I thought I was dealing with secondary infertility after Laurel was born and after many years and many ovulation kits, I gave up and donated all of my baby things (and then a month later found myself pregnant).
Anyway, this morning as my mind was still going through the paces, Facebook popped up this image of Violet from 8 years ago and it made me smile. ☺️ I thought, OK universe, I HEAR YOU. Yes, I loved my babies when they were chubby little dumplings and yes, I love them so much as they are, right this second, as growing humans who are smart, funny, creative, and let me sleep through the night.
