Embrace 2020 62/365: family systems
At our Dad 2.0 panel on Saturday, I asked my husband Jon to expand on something we talk about frequently: the concept of the family system. In a nutshell, the idea is that when you're part of a family every decision each person makes is never just about them...it impacts the entire family system in some way.
With this in mind, we knew that we were asking a lot from our kids to make Dad 2 happen, even though we were only away one night. Usually I'm the person on the road and Jon is the anchor at home. This was the first time we got on an airplane without them and man, my kids were so brave. For Laurel, as a teenager, our absence wasn't as big a deal but she navigated a ton of logistics on her own (including being a total public transit badass). But Violet really needed to go against her introvert nature. We had already set up an after school pickup + sleepover for Friday night but then it turned out she had a birthday slumber party Saturday night and given our return flight timing, she went straight from one thing to the next without seeing us for 2 days, probably with very little introvert down time.
It was A LOT for Vi and this morning she definitely wanted to just stay at home and hibernate. She asked if she could skip school several times. So today I'm being really mindful about my choices and how I can help our family system recalibrate... from the bigger things like switching my plans and not working all day downtown so I can be here for a hug and cuddle when my kids get home. Or zipping out between meetings to pick up Violet's library holds so she has fodder for said hibernation this afternoon.
The nature of my work and life puts a lot of demands on our family system and I am so grateful for my little team. And in case you're wondering what this picture is about, Violet loves all manner of spy things so while we were in DC we popped over to the Spy Museum to get her a gift. Because boy, even though we sure enjoyed our fancy hotel and independence we thought about our sweet kids constantly while we were away.
