Ask Up

Do you struggle asking or negotiating for what you’re worth? You’re not alone and over on Instagram last week I posted the below as part of a sponsored campaign with #DisruptAging about women’s perceptions of equity, value + worth (I wanted to cross post the tips to my blog too). I think about this stuff constantly b/c hello, patriarchy and as a mom of two girls + an independent business owner.

In the 15 years since I left academia to start my own businesses, many friends have reached out to ask me how to price projects. Literally every response to these talented women has -- deservedly! -- been “ASK UP.” I have been told that I should write a book called Ask Up, and while I don’t have a plan to do that, I want to share some key advice.

1️⃣ WRITE DOWN A GUT CHECK NUMBER. Think about a number that feels too low, too high, or just right. Don’t overthink; trust the feeling. If you feel ill over a number, it’s probably too low! Write the number down so it’s in front of you when you go to negotiate.

2️⃣ PRACTICE THE ASK. This may feel goofy but muscle memory helps. If you’re going to talk $ face to face, practice out loud in front of a mirror.

3️⃣ DON’T FREAK OVER COUNTEROFFERS. Negotiation goes both ways! Sometimes I state my rate and the client says OK but I also deal with counteroffers. It’s business, not personal.

4️⃣ ASK FOR TIME. If you feel yourself backing down from your number, say, "Let me think about it and get back to you." Give yourself time to find your confidence again!

5️⃣ SAY NO TO TERRIBLE OFFERS. Early in my freelance career, the projects I took on despite feeling they were below my worth were THE WORST. I think it’s b/c when a client low balls you and you say yes, you start with a pattern of disrespect that leads to power imbalance and scope creep. Just say no.

6️⃣ TRUST THAT BETTER OFFERS WILL COME. You need to have space to allow good things to come in. Trust. ❤

This isn’t work that happens overnight but once I started standing by my rates/worth, my life improved emotionally and financially. It’s one of my favorite things about aging; 47 isn’t old but I love being older and wiser!