Current state. Holding gratitude and calm. Praying fiercely. Wishing you peace if you are struggling with something.
I want to share something about REJECTION. Or what I'm calling the gift of rejection (Jessica Lahey probably influenced me there!). I think this is important because: 1) the nature of social media's highlight reel can be exhausting and make people feel crappy about themselves, 2) my impression is that people view me as someone who just goes out and crushes things with ease and without impasse.
In the last 3 months, I have developed and sent proposals for two projects that I think are legit substantial. Like, seriously legit substantial. Both were rejected. Not rejected in a "revise and resubmit" manner. Rejected in a flat out "yeah, I don't think this is strong enough" manner.
Yesterday was the second of those rejections and while yes, of course, I had an initial, "seriously?" disappointed response, literally, in about 30 seconds, I was like, "OK, I think rejection can be a gift."
Pretty much all spring long I have been wrestling with overwhelm. I have a ton of projects going on. I wake up and routinely have 70-80 things on my to-do list. I have clients who have given me stress-related dandruff. I have complicated personal and professional relationships that I am navigating. And of course there is my family, who generally speaking, is super understanding of my drive and commitments, but also probably understandably is sometimes like, "WTF, just stop doing things."
Yesterday Violet asked me to teach her to play chess and I said yes. And as I sat there watching her delight in learning something new, it became even more clear to me how fast the time is going and how much I want to say yes to a lot of things with my family this summer. So while two rejections sting the ego of someone who takes pride in creating quality content, right now I am exhaling and embracing these rejections as a gift and a sign from the universe. Right now I am relieved to not add two new sets of to-do list items to my workflow. Right now I just want to appreciate the abundance I'm currently enjoying and let it be enough.
As you can tell from the weeds in this rock bed, I haven't had the time to give my backyard much love! However, I popped back there this morning and was overwhelmed by two things. 1) Gratitude for the one peony bush that has been fighting for survival following my poor transplanting practice two years ago (totally did the transplant at the wrong time of year and killed 4 other bushes). 2) Successful completion of a little running project I have been quietly working on for the past month. I hope to share more soon!
TRUTH. Just last night Jon and I were talking about how chaotic things have been feeling, and that we can't lose sight of how much good is going on and how we need to enjoy time with Laurel and Violet in this stage of life. They both are really so delightful.
You might have seen in my Stories...yesterday after Vi got off the bus I just decided to slow the hell down and I invited her to play a game. Jon taught her to play cribbage that morning. She was SO DELIGHTED that I asked to play and she was pretty thrilled to crush me in two games! I'm good with that.